Parenting Toddler Biting Question:
“Kelly, my 1.5 year old has taken to biting both the dog and the baby.
I've tried many things and have read many parenting books but am still
without a solution. What can I do? I am worried that he will either
hurt our baby or the dog will hurt him”. - Mom Seeking Biting Solution
Parenting Solution to Biting Toddler:
When your sweet child turns into a household vampire, many Moms and
Dads are unsure of what to do. Biting is common in toddlers—they lack
the maturity and the vocabulary to express their frustration. While
biting may be common, it does not mean you need to put up with it.
There are plenty of ways to make biting less appealing to your toddler.
Here are five effective parenting toddler steps that can help you solve
your biting problem once and for all:
1. Find your toddler's biting payoff: Ask yourself, "Why is my child
biting?" For every negative misbehavior there is a powerful purpose—a
pay-off for children. Find your child's pay-off and you will be pointed
in the direction of the solution.
My educated guess is that the biggest reward for your toddler's biting
is your attention! With a new baby needing and demanding so much of
your attention (especially if you are breast feeding every couple of
hours) your oldest, now has to share your attention—something he never
had to do before. A new sibling’s arrival heralds a new era for your
toddler—an era in which the sun no longer rises and sets around him.
This major life transition requires quite an adjustment from your
first-born, who was used to having all your attention to himself.
When children aren't able to get enough of their parents' attention
positively, they will settle for negative attention. Why? Because some
attention is always better than none. So, biting is a powerful hook to
take your attention away from the baby and bring it back to your
toddler.
2. Remove the parenting toddler hook: As parents we can never truly
change our child's behavior. We can influence it—but ‘make’ them do
exactly what we want them to do, when we want them to do it—no.
Children only change when they ultimately understand the benefit of the
change. The good news is that by changing our reaction to their
behavior, we can nudge them in the right direction and start
experiencing the positive change we seek.
Decide to change your reaction to his biting. Instead of getting upset,
raising your voice, threatening or using time-outs, put your emotions
on hold and use a neutral tone. Use the same tone you would with the
neighborhood grocer (polite but not overly engaged). Calmly and
directly state, "Biting is not allowed." Then quickly hug your child
and remove them from the room OR remove the baby or dog and go about
your business. Turn your back on them if need be, but do not become
engaged with them (other than the quick hug) at this time.
3. Discourage biting by consistently acting and follow through: Make
certain you are not raising your voice, lecturing, yelling or biting
back in any way. Any aggressiveness on your part will only teach your
toddler that his behavior is appropriate. Each time he bites respond in
the nonchalant manner recommended in step two—follow through each and
every time.
4. Prevent biting behavior by giving your child what they really want
and need: A little of your positive attention can go a long way. With
the demands of a new baby, it can be next to impossible to carve out
extra time to spend 1-on-1 with your toddler. Yet, if you don't give it
to him, he will continue to demand it with negative behavior. Elicit
the help of your husband, family, friends or even a nanny or babysitter
to spend time with the baby so you can spend a little more happy play
time with your toddler.
5. Notice when your toddler is doing well: I’ve saved the most powerful
parenting toddler tip for last. When you see your toddler being gentle
with the baby and dog, notice this by saying something like, "Look at
how the baby loves to be touched by you when you are gentle. She is
lucky to have a big brother like you."
Biting is an unfortunate solution many toddlers have found to coerce
their parents into giving them attention. If parents change their tune
by not giving much attention when toddlers demand it, instead giving
their attention when their child is doing things they appreciate, they
will soon find that biting is reserved for favorite crackers and food
only!
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/
parenting-articles/parenting-toddler-sos-quotmy-biting-toddler-is-
after-our-dog-and-the-babyquot-202324.html About the Author
Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor,
corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of
When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You
shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well
behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools
and to access your free online parenting course visit www.ultimateparenting.com
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